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| Wednesday, May 10, 2006 |
| The toilet door |
9 days, me hearties. I wanted to add another entry to the "I'm not gonna be missing/I will be missing" series but here's a story that's just too good to not be told. Now I heard this second-hand, not from the poor person involved itself, so some details might be fuzzy/overly exaggerated/just plain made up. Call it artistic license. I do not, in fact, have permission from the involved parties to publicise this but who cares eh. *shrug* If he insists, I will delete this post. huhu.
Last weekend, the residents of a certain unit in Vista Komanwel C went to their respective hometowns. All except one.
Ah Seng.
*jeng jeng jeng*
(Names have been modified, though not by much, to protect the identites of those involved, as if I care but just in case)
Now for some reason the residents of that certain unit in Vista Komanwel C don't like taking baths in the bathroom in the hallway, they all like to bathe in the master bedroom. Well, not the bedroom itself, but the toilet IN the master room.
*enter dramatic music, low creepy scary voice*
Little did innocent Ah Seng know,
There is something wrong with the toilet door...
So there he was, tra la la la la, having a shower, ok he's done, towels up and reaches for the doorknob. He turns it. The door doesn't open. One eyebrow gets raised. He turns it again. The door still doesn't open. Another eyebrow gets raised. Beginnning to panic, he starts to rattle the door knob in hopes that it will miraculously open the door. It doesn't. A few more eyebrows rise. Heart rate increases. BP starts to rise. Jingling and jangling the door knob, it still doesn't want to budge, resolutely imprisoning poor Ah Seng in his warm, damp shower cell. Ah Seng has left his phone in his room, a mere few metres away yet impossible to reach due to the wooden barrier.
After a period of time (and here the details get fuzzier and more mysterious), about half an hour, Ah Seng resorts to the only option he has left;
He begins to yell. No, not some feral guttural random shouts, He yells for help.
"HELPPPPPPPP!!! HEEEEELLLLPPPPPPPPP!!!"
Silence.
"HEEEELLLLPPPPPPPP!!! HELPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!!!"
After a while (again, the period of time is uncertain, though one must assume it was a while), a response!
"WHERE ARE YOUUUUU??"
"I'M ON THE **** FLOOR!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOUUUUU??"
"I'M ON THE **** FLOOR!!!!!! WHAT SEEEEMMSSS TO BE THE PRROOBBBLLLEEEMMM??"
"I'M STUCK IN MY TOILET!!!!"
"......."
At this point a small crowd has gathered outside Ah Seng's unit, such is his yelling. For some reason no one thinks of helping him. He continues his high-decibel conversation with his unknown, soon-to-be saviour.
"ISN'T ANYONE AT HOMMEEEE???"
"NOOOOO!!! CAN YOU CALL THIS NUMBER??? IT'S MY GIRLFRIENDDDDDDD"
"OKAY!!! WHAT'S THE NUMBER???"
"***-*******!!!!!!"
Ah Sa, Ah Seng's girlfriend suddenly receives a call while milling about her own business. She doesn't recognize the number in the caller id.
"Hello...?"
"Hi, is this Ah Sa?"
"Yes...."
"Do you know a guy named Ah Seng?"
"Yes...."
"Is he your boyfriend?"
"Yes...."
Now at this point she must be thinking that either something really bad happened to him or he did something really bad and someone's looking for her to pour HCL on her face.
"OK, your boyfriend's stuck in his toilet"
"....."
Ah Sa rushes down to his unit, only to remember that she doesn't have the keys to his place. A locksmith is summoned. It is sometime past midnight. A locksmith arrives, and ponders the pretty large crowd of curious (chinese say pat) onlookers. He tries to pick the lock but fails. He resorts to hammering and banging away at the lock. The crowd outside grows, wondering what the crap is all that noise about. A small festival-like atmosphere begins. People chanting. Incense is burned. Women wail and thump their chests, such is their desire that the noise stops so that they can go back to sleep.
All this time, Ah Seng is sitting in his towel on the toilet bowl in the toilet of a master bedroom of a certain unit in Vista Komanwel C. Beginning to sweat due to the damp heat, he thinks, "aiyah. Bathe again lar"
And so he does, all the while hearing louds clanks and bangs as the locksmith continues to try and open the door.
After a while more, the locksmith succeeds in positively destroying the lock, sending it to where all good locks go. The crowd cheers. Old men take down the apartment number, tomorrow can go buy 4-D, 2 big, 2 small. Ah Sa jumps into the damp hands of Ah Seng. The unknown saviour is given a hand shake and profuse thanks.
And all is well.
A few days later, when the other residents have returned, Ah Ann gets stuck in the toilet... |
posted by theycallmecruel @ 10:50 AM  |
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wheeeeeeeeeee
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