this is a coconut shell, and i am it's frog

Saturday, December 26, 2009
why is it
that only at this time of year do we actually contemplate what significant events there have been in our lives? why can't we take daily stock of wuzgoingon, reassess, progress, and move on?

i blame it on the media.

publisizing new years like it's a big deal. it really is just another day. if we didn't have calenders, would we stop and pause to think about the past 365 days at all? now that's a thought.

well hello to all you wonderful ppl who still do read my ramblings. please leave a comment so i know that i'm not yabbing away to the cyberspace walls. not that i'm counting.

but i succumb to the media and it's cries of yearly self-evaluating, self effacement. it truly has been an interesting year. well and truly so. and changes in my psyche and view of life that i'm not sure is for the better. should i then try to reverse it? as i said in a previous post, still deciding whether to be selfish and momentarily gratified or selfless and pwned. does happiness = pleasure?

books i've read this year -
picture of dorian gray, oscar wilde
alice in wonderland, lewis carroll
skin - short stories by roald dahl
kitchen confidential, anthony bourdain

i can't for the life of me remember if i read anything else prior to coming over here. i think there was one by paolo coelho and maybe harry potter a couple of times again, but that's it.

now those above few paragraphs have been so self-indulgent i'm feeling a little nauseas. but if a personal blog isn't self-indulgent, then what is? onward with more nausea then!

ahem, as i was saying, it was quite an eventful/interesting year, specially in the other gender department. while friends are getting married (sarah, joanna, anna) and some are in new long term relationships (tim - as far as i know) i remain chronically single. ppl say i'm too picky. i say if i can't find someone that completely sweeps me off my feet, why bother being with someone just for the sake of it? pffft. i'm not gonna commit to someone who bores me just because people think it's the right time. i hate getting comfortable.
everyone i meet who seems interesting and worth pursuing at the moment will invariably have one thing which throws an oil-rig sized spanner in the works. too old, too crazy, too malay (not that i'm racist - i just can't stand the thought of being called weijin bin wong), too attached, too much past pain, too square, too afraid.

but gratz to all the new engagements - chai ling and kevin, and er, a few more which i'm not sure i'm allowed to mention yet.

my house is in a mess. i do wanna do it up nice and all, but i'm thinking - what's the point if i'm only gonna be here for a short while? granted, 2 years is actually quite long and it may be more than that but i have problems with commitment. furniture is commitment. it was traumatizing enough trying to commit to a 2-year phone plan (i settled for the more expensive 1 year plan).

i'm sensing a theme here.
me and my heart, we got issues.
posted by theycallmecruel @ 4:58 PM  
2 Comments:
  • At 4:15 PM, Blogger Marilyn said…

    here are a few comments.

    kitchen confidential was a good read. it was nitty gritty. anthony bourdain did a bit on that restaurant under the tree at chan sow lin.

    you should clean your house.

    i have been checking back on your blog often so you're not writing into space. but it was never updated.

    hope you've been well

     
  • At 9:45 PM, Blogger queen shelby said…

    "too old, too crazy, too malay, too attached, too much past pain, too square, too afraid."

    I see you're looking for the impossible.

    And here i was thinking you were quite a realistic person, hahaha.

    Btw, there's no such thing as too old.

    ;p

     
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