this is a coconut shell, and i am it's frog

Tuesday, January 31, 2006
I walk pirate-esque-ly.
I've recently taken a liking to inane questionnaires. Such as these. Goes to show how bored I am.
Dalhousie, wither thou goest? Tarry not any longer, slake my thirst for knowledge of internal organs and scary looking pathological processes. Be not far from me, indeed, draw ever nigh.

June could not come sooner sigh.

Your walk is:

Take this quiz at
posted by theycallmecruel @ 3:31 PM   0 comments
Monday, January 30, 2006
my cny fortune cookie
Your Fortune Is

Better to be pissed off than pissed on.
posted by theycallmecruel @ 11:42 PM   0 comments
happy cny!
The lunar new year is here again, giving us license to participate in uncontrolled eating and groans of misery as we lose our angpow money to our relatives and friends.

Ah! The spirit of CNY. To all my yellow-skinned homies from the motherland out there, gong hei fatt choy!!!

I've always been a lousy gambler. I remember once in KKB (that's kuala kubu bahru) while doing a short posting there, a few of us played a friendly game of in-between. To the uninformed, in-between is probably the simplest of gambling games there is, involving just 3 cards a person. The object of the game is to get a card whose face value is somewhere in between your first 2 cards. Hence the name in-between. Duh. If your 3rd card IS in between, you get to take however much money from the pot you called. If it's not, you put in the amount you wanted to take. IF your 3rd card "chong-tiang" (that's hit the post), you put in double the amount you called.

Simple, eh?

Most probably invented by a brilliant god-of-gamblers style chow yun fatt look alike, or by a group of really bored people (not unlike us) looking for something to do whilst waiting for the bus. Curse Malaysian public transport! Anyhoo, it's now the most inane, skill-less, luck-dependant game there is.

Back to KKB. There we were, the 4 of us, all poor medical students. So we started with the modest bet of a 50-sen buy in. The starting pot was therefore a measly 2 bucks. Not even enough for a ramli burger. BUT, by a wicked combination of sheer bad luck, bad judgement and just plain stupidity, the pot swelled to a whopping 50 bucks. Ay, from just 50 sen a person. You could smeeeelllll the tension in the air. Cold sweat trickled down our foreheads. Sympathetic neurons going off in rapid-fire. BP > 180/120. Heart rate > 120.

My next two cards were an ace and a king. 1 to 13. The biggest gap possible. Feigning calmness, i flashed my opponents the sort of smile a shark would give to a guppy moments before devouring it.

"I'll take ALL," I said, my steady voice not betraying the fact that I was close to wetting my pants.

And would you believe it, the card I got was an ACE. CHONG TIANG. WHAT THE *expletive deleted* I had to add a hundred bucks to the pot.

I wet my pants.

A collective whoop celebrating my sheer, complete, total and utter bad luck went up from my friends. Greedy buggers.

However, in the true spirit of friendship, what happened was I took all the cash but bought them dinner that night. After cleaning my soiled shorts.

I then swore to myself that I'd never gamble again. Which goes to show that I'm a bad swearer too. Cause not 6 months down the road, I lost a similar sum of cash at Genting. sigh. But that's another story.

oh. I didn't wet my pants by the way. Literary license eh.

posted by theycallmecruel @ 10:41 PM   0 comments
Sunday, January 29, 2006
goodbye carrie

the one in blue is carrie. the one with the shining white cap (now dearly departed, i hope kgns burns to oblivion and the person who stole it gets trapped behind a pile of rubble a mere foot from the exit, screaming bladdy murder for his life. and in his last moment before expiring, it will suddenly dawn on him, light emanating from his soot-stained face, that his short and pointless life is now ending cause he stole my cap that one fateful balmy december night. call it bad karma. yes i'm bitter. back to the one in the white cap) is me~!

so anyway, carrie's gone. to auckland, that is. to study, supposedly. here she is, staring into the dark unknown, gazing over the horizons of destiny, considering the eternal shadowy void called the future, pondering what secrets life may reveal to her in the land of furry brown fruits and furrier flightless birds. ay, she a pondering type, that lassie.

(we're actually waiting for a ride at a bus station in penang)

i remember pissing her off no end kayaking in damai, so much so that she wanted to jump off the kayak and swim to shore. i was having the time of my life by the way.
i remember the founder of clan spicy, spicycarrie, being picked up by some weirdo kid on blueserver. too bad i only heard the stories.
i remember "hey guy with the broken finger!", and thinking, "ok, stay away from this one, wei jin..."
i remember... the forehead... fortunately or not, i don't have a photo of her very legendary, very prominent, anatomical region.

so GG GL HF NO RE to one goh zhou ting. all the best and all that jazz. may your feet and your shins not be pecked into an unrecognizable bloody pulp by furry flightless birds. oh, and easy on the maori liquor. heady stuff that.

on a somewhat unrelated note, she's got a younger sister named cherrie, and one more named sherrie. carrie, cherrie and sherrie. mental, eh? i always thought it was. hoho.
posted by theycallmecruel @ 11:45 PM   0 comments
Sunday, January 22, 2006
this is a coconut shell, and i am it's frog. hi. i'm new to this. go easy on me. just thought that since all me friends are soon gonna be at different corners of the globe, dispersed by the four winds, blown apart like so much chaff; that i'd start a blog so that all my friends can know exactly what's going on in my life. not like they want too, but that's another story.


this is a coconut shell. not just any coconut shell. it's MY coconut shell. so hands off eh you greedy real estate fly-eating, moth-chomping amphibians, i'm not selling i tell you, i'm not!! geeroff!!



what now?
posted by theycallmecruel @ 1:30 AM   0 comments

    LIFE is like a glass of coke, it may seem full but it's actually just all froth.


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ribbit Chinaman in Canada, no more. i still can't come up with a better phrase.
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