this is a coconut shell, and i am it's frog

Tuesday, January 30, 2007
Add another entry
to the seemingly never-ending, ever growing list of weijin's debilitating injured body parts.

So far the count looks like this, from toe up -
sprained pinky toe, both feet
sprained both ankles more times than I've cared to remember. It's not even funny anymore
pulled lateral collateral ligament, left knee
pulled anterior cruciate ligament, left knee
herniation of nucleus pulposus, somewhere along the lumbar spine
pulled erector spinae
fractured scaphoid, right wrist
dislocated pinky PIP (rather famously), left hand
sprained every single finger on both hands, again, more times than I've cared to remember

and now,

fractured radial head, left elbow.

SIGH

All these injuries have 2 things in common
1) they all put me out of basketball for up to a month at least (save the sprained fingers)
2) they all occured while playing basketball

I'm not even that good at basketball

GARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

How did it happen, you might ask.
It happened while playing ball for the medical team here in Dal, I'll say. I went up for a shot, I'll continue, and I'll dramatically demonstrate that at the highest point of my jump, the guy who was marking me rushed me and took me down like he was playing american football. I don't recall ever hitting the ground so hard. Ever. And I've taken my fair share of hits and hard falls.
An audible gasp went up from the small crowd present.
Appeals for a flagrant foul were made. By HIS team mates.

The adrenaline masked the pain for a bit. An hour later, I knew something was really wrong when trying to shower. Couldn't lift my left arm without yelping from the pain shooting up and down the arm.

Walked the familiar walk to the hospital, a path taken so many times before, though my first time as a patient. Some of my classmates were on call. The shock on their faces said it all. They made sure I was tended to quickly. So nice these orang putih.

The X-ray confirmed it. Positive sail sign. 6 weeks in a cast.

First I fail my internal medicine paper, throwing my year-end elective plans into the garbage.
Now this.
What bloody next.

why oh why woe is meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
posted by theycallmecruel @ 10:05 AM   1 comments
Thursday, January 18, 2007
Luck
is for the unprepared, I quoted.

And I ranked myself among the highest, for it was there I rightfully belonged. The procrastinator's prayer availed me naught.
Cruel truth. So I continued the m103, or rather, my tradition of explosive failure. And I am royally pissed at myself for it.

I had trouble motivating myself for the exam. Did not study properly till 2 days before. The exam had a new overseer.

I can't even think up proper excuses anymore.

I am pissed with myself because after overcoming so much nonsense in the past 3 years, I fall at the first real hurdle Dalhousie had to offer. After clawing myself up from the weight of my failed summatives, I stumble yet again in the first test of any worth since sem 5.
Maybe I just don't have the will power to become a doctor.

The shame.

What happens to me now I do not know. A meeting with the dean beckons.


How the hell am I going to tell my parents that I failed

yet

again.


Incidently, it's -30 degrees outside. And I guess the decision whether or not to get TBC has been made for me. Have a happy fun Azerothian adventure.
posted by theycallmecruel @ 7:57 AM   0 comments
Saturday, January 06, 2007
So
It's 2007.

*cue noisemakers*

whoopedoo.

Well I've begun my family medicine rotation, and frankly, the pace is waaaaaaaay slower than internal medicine was. For the uninitiated, the main difference is that in internal, I spent my time on the wards and in family, it's basically a "klinik Wong dan rakan pokok gembira sekalian" sort of thing.

Except that they don't exclusively deal with sore throat and fever and MC selling while forcing you to buy vitamin C, panadol and needless broad-spectrum antibiotics.

Time for uncle WeiJin to regale you with his latest witty medical anecdotes!

I've mentioned on many previous occasions that Canadians are shameless. Another example cropped up today while I was in the EKG clinic.
There I was, just pulling EKG leads off yet another obese caucasian, when a new requisition was handed to me for yet another EKG. I recognized the name. She was a classmate of mine (and still is, however, due to rules of the english language, reference to her has to be made in the past tense given that this vignette occured in the past, and not to be confused with her being a classmate of mine in the past which was the present and the present the future at that time, though in the future, she will be a classmate of mine in the past but since that future is not present, therefore presently, she remains a very present classmate. Though we refer to her in the past).
Apparently she was having palpitations recently and decided she needed an EKG. Fair enough. For privacy purposes she shall henceforth be known as !@#$.

An EKG requires the patient to expose the entire chest, and the examiner has to move a woman's breast out of the way to achieve an appropriate reading.

Therefore clinic policy is that if you know the patient, you don't do the procedure. For obvious reasons. So just as I was about to hand off the requisition to one of my colleagues, I heard someone call my name.
"Wei Jin!"
"Oh hi !@#$!"
"Are you on your family medicine rotation?"
"yeah, just helping out in the EKG clinic today"
"cool! do you want to give me my EKG? I don't mind"
"uh..."
I look nervously around for Shirley, the head tech. She's an old-school headmistress type stickler for rules and I expected her to lay down her well-rehearsed "clinic policy says that..." speech.
I catch Shirley's eye and she looks at me over the top of her half-moon spectacles, shrugs and says, very sternly, "If she doesn't mind, go do the EKG"
I open my mouth to protest but Shirley points firmly to the EKG room. It's a familiar gesture that no one in the office argues with. She da boss, and she know it. Word.

This was a classmate of mine who has, on occasion, given me rides back from class.
It was by far THE MOST AWKWARDESTSEST EKG I have ever performed. So awkward that merely "most awkward" and even grammatically hellish "most awkwardest" isn't enough. 70 year old ladies with furniture syndrome I can handle (that's when the chest reaches the drawers). This, though...

Most awkwardestsest indeed.

How do you keep a poker face, focus on your classmate's chest, move her breast around to apply EKG leads while her nipples are perkily pointing at you like daffodils in summer sunshine; and she's joking and laughing about class and exams like we're having a cup of coffee?
A cup of coffee fully clothed, that is. As in, we're fully clothed. Not the cup of coffee. Cups and coffee don't need clothes. Cause coffee stains are difficult to wash off.

...

oh nevermind.

But what expression do you express? Do you laugh along with her while dotting silicone gel on her left breast? Comment on the weather and daffodils in summer sunshine while counting her intercostal spaces? How hard do you prod for said intercostals? How far away from the parasternal border should you go? Do you smile to diffuse the weird awkwardnessess of the situation? Or do you not smile for fear of looking like a perv?

And was I standing next to the heater? Cause my face felt really warm...

Friggin' no shame right these orang putih.


Later that day I spent 20 minutes burning warts off a guy's foot with liquid nitrogen. It was strangely satisfying.
pphhffffssshhtttttttttt
posted by theycallmecruel @ 1:50 PM   1 comments

    LIFE is like a glass of coke, it may seem full but it's actually just all froth.

wheeeeeeeeeee

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ribbit Chinaman in Canada, no more. i still can't come up with a better phrase.
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