this is a coconut shell, and i am it's frog

Tuesday, June 19, 2007
mou tak sek gong tung wah

I remember back before I hit my teens
that house that was always swelteringly hot
and every new year, you'd greet us with that big smile
as we ran around your knees like the carefree kids we were
you tried to speak english with us
Because your useless grandkids mou tak sek gong tung wah

Goodbye, gong gong, Rest in peace.

I remember in my teens
when we were "grown up"
the house that was still swelteringly hot
how I hated going down that narrow road every new year
and sit there stewing trying to win money off my cousins
and you tried to speak english with us
cause we mou tak sek gong tung wah

Goodbye, gong gong, Rest in peace.

I remember when my teens were up
That time is now
and the ravages that age has on mentation were taking hold
we still had the new year dinners
still that narrow road, still swelteringly hot house
how we sat around but ran no more
how the silence between you and us grew
cause you tried to speak english no more
and we mou tak sek gong tung wah

Goodbye, gong gong, Rest in peace.

I may never have truly known you
We may never have shared more than a few sentences
We may never have said more than
"gong gong, gong hei fatt choy"
"kuai ler, kuai"
I do know that the values that my mother has tried to pass down to me
of integrity, honesty, hard work, trust, sharing, responsibility, duty and family
she obtained from you, and hopefully, I, her

though physically you have left
you will never truly leave us
for your legacy
no matter how typically traditionally cold chinese
will never, ever leave us
and the memories we have of you
and the lessons that we realize only now
no matter how superficial and posthumous
will always be ones we treasure.
We will make you proud.

Goodbye, gong gong, Rest in peace.

For we are part of you
and you
part of us

Goodbye, gong gong, Rest in peace.

So as the bells ring, calling you away
shuck of your mortal coil
As the angels sing, guiding you in
hear them whisper your name
As the boatman rows, bearing you home
take your neverending rest, see the eternal sunset
May the sun always shine upon your face
May the wind always be upon your back
and may the wings of destiny
carry you into the heavens, to dance with the stars.

Goodbye, gong gong, Rest in peace.

Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound
That saved a wretch like me
I once was lost, but now am found
Was blind, but now I see

Through many dangers, toils and snares
We have already come
'Twas Grace that brought us safe thus far
And Grace will lead us home

When we've been there ten thousand years
Bright shining as the sun
We've no less days to sing God's praise
Then when we've first begun

Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound
That saved a wretch like me
I once was lost, but now am found
Was blind, but now I see

Goodbye, gong gong.

Rest in Peace.

And my only regret of knowing you
is that I can't write this in Cantonese
ngo mou tak sek gong tung wah
posted by theycallmecruel @ 10:50 PM   0 comments
Monday, June 18, 2007
exam break 4
It's that time of the year again

exams in a week. whoopedeehoohaa. Surgery and A&E this time

And exactly like clockwork, along with the last-minute cramming, workload-induced cold sweat and empty promises to study earlier the next time, comes the self-doubt, the pondering, the wondering anew, the perennially unanswered question, the eternal conundrum -


My slacker heart is too feeble for this~!!@#%!@^
*runs in circles*
posted by theycallmecruel @ 10:58 AM   0 comments
Wednesday, June 06, 2007
I've spent the past 3 weeks on the colorectal service. Yeah, butts and guts all day long. Days are measured by RPH (rectals per hour).
Good day <1 rph < Bad day

What already is a pretty dirty service is made worse by the nightmare of a classmate I have to work with. She's the only angmoh I haven't been able to get along with. Father's a bigshot in the hospital. Go figure.

Trying to make me look bad doesn't even begin to describe it. Imagine you're sitting there minding your own business and in front of all the residents and nurses she says "Wei Jin, don't you have any work to do?"


And that's after she's sat at the nurse's station for 30 mins bragging about the wonderful trip she had to Cuba. I'm so thankful to be done with that service. Not that the rectals bothered me, kinda get used ze shiaza flying all over after a while. But trying to work with someone who constantly undercuts, gives the evil eye every chance she gets, stabs in the back (and front) and tries to make me look bad was just positively hellish. I thought I got into medicine to avoid all this politicking. What the hell did I do to you man. Not my fault I'm smarter and answer questions quicker and in a more concise manner.

Goes to show that no matter how good you look on the outside (she's actually quite sweet looking when she isn't giving me the evil eye), it means nuts if the inside's rotten.


I saw an angel today.
She didn't have white skin, or long blond hair, or blue eyes
She wore no white dress, wasn't 6 feet tall and slim
She didn't carry a harp, had no wings, no halo
There was no benevolent half smile on her face

I saw an angel today.
She was black, short wiry hair highlighted with grey, eyes hidden by the tackiest of sunglasses
Her face streaked with wrinkles
She was about 50kg overweight, ambled more than walked
the very opposite of graceful
Old poorly matched clothes whose bright colours had long faded after too many washes
She pushed a wheelchair with an older, grey-er haired lady

And as she waddled her way into the elevator, with the brightest and most welcoming of smiles on her face
She looks at my sullen face and asks, in a voice so full of warmth and joy, a voice that too many people need, and not enough hear,
"And how are YOU doing today??"
My downcast face split a smile, the ugliest of experiences could not suppress,
"not too bad," I manage
"oh, look at 'im now, 'e's got a smile on 'is face!"

She laughs
I laugh
and leave the elevator with an oddly irrepressible bounce in my step

they brighten our day
lift us up when we're at our lowest
put a smile on the saddest of faces
encourage us to keep fighting, keep striving, keep working
Angels walk among us, indeed,
and I saw one today

wow what sorry poetry. exams coming lar k. And I just had to write comparing the white spawn from hell I had to work with and the random black lady who made a particularly horrible day seem very bearable.

Angels walk among us, indeed,
and I saw one today.
posted by theycallmecruel @ 7:57 AM   0 comments

    LIFE is like a glass of coke, it may seem full but it's actually just all froth.


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ribbit Chinaman in Canada, no more. i still can't come up with a better phrase.
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