this is a coconut shell, and i am it's frog
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| Friday, October 27, 2006 |
| THE bimanual |
Yes, THE bimanual exam. The only thing more uncomfortable for a woman besides giving birth, a mammogram or a speculum exam.
For the uninitiated, it involves one hand over a woman's lower belly and 2 fingers from the other hand uhm, well, inside her belly. Use your imagination. And it involves the fingers inside the belly making broad sweeps left and right to locate the ovaries and the boundaries of the uterus. Again, use your imagination.
So standing at the side of the examining table, introduced myself, explained the exam, gloves and lube on, I was about to begin the exam when the dr said;
"Make sure your tongue doesn't touch the clitoris"
My partner for the exam, a cowboy (literally, no, really, he is) named Beau Blois, grows a huge ear-to-ear grin.
The patient looks up, shock all over her face, as though we just told her she had 2 hours to live.
The Dr flushes up quicker than a chinaman on alcohol *ahem ahem*
I was stopped deader in my tracks than when I saw a dangling dingle during the DRE I performed some time earlier.
"well that was a Freudian slip..." she recovers.
She had meant to say thumb. An honest mistake, but still, I discovered a whole new level of awkwardness that I never knew could possibly have existed. |
posted by theycallmecruel @ 7:55 AM  |
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| Monday, October 23, 2006 |
| Footie rambles VI |
2-0
Though achieving football saturation here is amazingly difficult, and watching games isn't as fun without a hot sweaty mamak man named saleh handing you bacteria-infested food and overpriced drinks while friends complain about player's performances; there is still enough left in me to say but a somewhat diminshed
HOHOHO
It's very different without the bunch of guys yelling at the TV (as if the players could hear us) or yelling our lungs off when Man Utd scores, but I'll take what I can get.
 The moment that made me jump. I love the way Riise is waving to an unknown friend in the stands.
Paul Scholes has long been my favourite player of all time, and even at his 500th game for United, the qualities he showed ten years ago don't appear diminshed in one bit. While ex-captain and limelight-lover Beckham has been relagated to the Real Madrid bench and off the national team altogether (a dumb move imo), Scholes continues to be an automatic first choice for any team in the world, even to the point where England boss Steve McLaren tried asking him back to the England team. Twice.
For those who don't know, Scholes retired from the England team a few years ago cause he wanted to spend more time with his family. It's so sweet it's diabetic. The man hates the limelight so much yet continues to grab it with his performances. One to be admired, indeed.
 The other member of the current 500-games club, putting in another amazing display. Age may have taken the wings out of his boots but seems to have replaced it with impeccable timing and passing that takes the breath away. His touch remains sublime, but if it he had one flaw, it was the final pass that always let him down. Not anymore. Truly imperious. A "footballing brain" the pundits like to call it. Whatever it is, the two golden oldies of Man Utd possess it in abundance, and are displaying it for all to see.
Glory may yet come to Old Trafford again this season.
On a less ego blowing note, did anyone watch Arsenal take apart Reading? I've never been a fan but passing and plays like that have got to be admired.
Stroke unit tomorrow ~ Delirious, demented, salivating old ppl crapping themselves, here I come! |
| posted by theycallmecruel @ 8:14 AM |
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| Wednesday, October 18, 2006 |
| excuse the nooby photoshopping but |
HAPPY BIRTHDAY BRADDA FROM ANADA MADDA!!!!!!!!!!
to the brother from another mother; basket you're old wei.
dr danny WONG soon tak boleh percaya~!
I pity all those patients out there... make sure they don't find any pictures of the last birthday you had in KL, where you were puking black ooze onto my toilet floor and me and cm had to strip you down to your spongebob squarepants boxers and spray you with cold water WOAHAHAHAHAHHAHA
then your mom called on the phone and I HAD TO ANSWER HER
"hi, is danny there?"
"uh... no aunty, he's uh... resting..."
"can I speak to danny please"
"I think he's sleeping already aunty" *grimace*
*kitc groans in the background oOOiiIIIIiiIIiIi my head weiiii...*
"ok, is he coming home tonight?"
*more groaning. wweEEEiIIiIiieiei snort snort*
"uh, I don't think so aunty, he'll go home tomorrow, he's sleeping already"
"ok make sure you let him know I called"
"yes aunty"
not forgetting cracking eddy's windshield LOLZ
tolong jangan memalukan nama terharum WONG lagi, anda sudah tua dan sepatutnya berkelakuan lebih matang.
*mMph*
*tries to keep straight face*
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| posted by theycallmecruel @ 10:09 AM |
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| Sunday, October 08, 2006 |
| I could |
write about performing vaginal inspections,
complaining about the difficulty of visualising a cervix and the most uncomfortable exam a woman probably has to undergo - the bimanual exam.
ponder the significance of life,
after having seen a man die on my first day on call, his daughter not even wanting to claim his physical remains; and having a friend's granddad pass away as well on my shift. Opening a chart and seeing the letters "DNAR" and trying to explain it to her is not easy. Not easy indeed. The clinical whispered mutterings among the staff to increase the morphine dose past the "safe" levels, because the "safe" dose isn't doing anything for his pain anymore. The removing of the oxygen mask that sustains him because he does not like the feel of a strap around his face, though doing it ensures his passing.
blog about the long days and even longer nights,
running around chasing charts, looking dumb in front of consultants, mixing up doses and medications (good thing the consultant has to cosign everything), reviewing patient... after patient... after patient... after patient... after patient... after patient...
rhyme about that penultimate quest,
LOVE,
for many, nay, more than many, of my brethren and uh... sisthren across the seas lack, wonder about, mourn this emotion.
Though seperated by hours and miles, the wonders of modern technology bridge these distances.
And though I isolate, I feel the dearth of positive energy in the face of looming cynicism.
Where have all the cowboys of our youth gone too
Where have all the flowers of our spring time withered too
Where have all the rainbows and sunshine of young infatuation faded too
only to be replaced
violently replaced
thoroughly replaced
We are getting old, friends.
Indeed.
emo emo emo emoememoemoemoe
BUT
since it's thanksgiving, I will stop moaning and be thankful,
for having the basics, a roof, 4 walls, a shirt on my back (and pants on my bum), water and food
for a family that's somewhat stable
for a cultural background that stretches into the thousands of years
for sight; that I might appreciate beauty and art
for sound; the full wonders of which I am yet to understand or quantify, I doubt I ever will
for touch; that I might know this world
for smell and taste; that I might know asam laksa, seremban ngau lam fun and durian cendol
for prose, through the weaving of which we connect
for the ability to have fun
for random laughter
for the chance to be educated, and the knowledge of my forebearers
for mental clarity (though some might argue here) and physical health
and probably most importantly,
for the many, many, many people who have coloured my life, past, present, and future; and the technology that allows me to stay in touch with them.
I would have no one to complain about my culture too
critisize bad art or good music with
enjoy senseless jokes over indomee goreng and limau ais
while yelling "GOOAAAAALLLLLLLLL"
or stress out over studies with
if it weren't for you guys.
emo! |
| posted by theycallmecruel @ 8:43 AM |
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| Sunday, October 01, 2006 |
| LOL = laugh out loud |
Isabel = a very well mannered, quiet, well put together Canadian Chinese I met here at church.
theycallmecruel = random Malaysian bypasser caught in the line of fire of a woman's wrath. He hopes that Isabel will never find his blog, or the following might be directed at him next time (!)
- Isabel - says:
my computer got infected
- Isabel - says:
and someone cracked into my computer
- Isabel - says:
and monitoring me right now
- Isabel - says:
yah
- Isabel - says:
i m ing about yu
- Isabel - says:
bastard
- Isabel - says:
who sits in front of r stupid monitor 4/7
- Isabel - says:
and stares at the screen and get the pleasure from making other people's computers die
theycallmecruel says:
??
- Isabel - says:
that r ass get so frigging big
- Isabel - says:
not wei jing
theycallmecruel says:
lol?
- Isabel - says:
i am saying this person who hacked into my computer
- Isabel - says:
and he fucking uses my msn
theycallmecruel says:
i feel your pain
- Isabel - says:
excuse me
theycallmecruel says:
but chill lar
theycallmecruel says:
hehe
- Isabel - says:
humMerfreak
- Isabel - says:
wha the fa9r7w3u09374183@#*)(# is that sutpid name got
- Isabel - says:
it's the most ridiculous name i've ever known
- Isabel - says:
its good that know are a freak rself
- Isabel - says:
(not wei jing, i am not ing to )
- Isabel - says:
and now
- Isabel - says:
my bf, will tell me to install some shits to crack
theycallmecruel says:
i've never seen you talk so much
theycallmecruel says:
btw my name is spelled jin
theycallmecruel says:
not jing
theycallmecruel says:
haha
- Isabel - says:
o sry
theycallmecruel says:
no worries
- Isabel - says:
yah i a lot
- Isabel - says:
stupid hUmmer freak
theycallmecruel says:
chilling lar sista
- Isabel - says:
got nothing to do at home
- Isabel - says:
just sit in front of r frigging large monitor
theycallmecruel says:
you know he's probably laughing at you being so angry
- Isabel - says:
i bet it's old and just did whole bunch of stuff to it to make it look high tech
- Isabel - says:
cheap
- Isabel - says:
so cheap
- Isabel - says:
i know are laughing
- Isabel - says:
but um...
- Isabel - says:
buddy, it's thursday night
- Isabel - says:
get drunk
- Isabel - says:
get laid
- Isabel - says:
tks tsk tsk
- Isabel - says:
right...
theycallmecruel says:
??
- Isabel - says:
yu are toooo fat that can't
- Isabel - says:
can't even go out
- Isabel - says:
and if go out
theycallmecruel says:
wth
- Isabel - says:
people jump at the sight of
theycallmecruel says:
i'll assume this isn't you, isabel
theycallmecruel says:
cause it sure doesn't sound liek you
- Isabel - says:
and when can't find r keys to r house that share with r mama and papa
- Isabel - says:
find it in r nd stomach layer
- Isabel - says:
and by the way
- Isabel - says:
also found the chocolate left over had last monday in r 4th layer of r stomach
- Isabel - says:
and when shit
- Isabel - says:
created katrina in the states
theycallmecruel says:
lol?
- Isabel - says:
stupid fart
- Isabel - says:
started to wear glasses since were born
theycallmecruel says:
uhm
- Isabel - says:
so probably cannot find any glasses that fit r eyes
theycallmecruel says:
ok you go on now isabel
theycallmecruel says:
i'll take a shower first
- Isabel - says:
so the only glasses can find are the bear bottoms
- Isabel - says:
- Isabel - says:
later i am gonna install this shit and crack the hell outa this boy
- Isabel - says:
hUmmer freak
theycallmecruel says:
haha
theycallmecruel says:
do it now lar
- Isabel - says:
and my bf is also in computer science
- Isabel - says:
and i will tell him to crack the hell out of too
- Isabel - says:
and trust me
- Isabel - says:
he can do WAY better than what have done on my computer
- Isabel - says:
cuz he actually gets a degree for cracking ppl
theycallmecruel says:
btw the word is hacking
theycallmecruel says:
not cracking
theycallmecruel says:
hahahaha
- Isabel - says:
o right
- Isabel - says:
hack
- Isabel - says:
crack is to attack
- Isabel - says:
reboot now
theycallmecruel says:
haha
theycallmecruel says:
gogo
theycallmecruel says:
i shower first
Seriously, it was like seeing the pope get drunk and hit on random women. ok that's an exaggeration but you get the idea. This woman hardly even talks to me normally. Suddenly kena unload upon like this. Her rantings were just too entertaining to not share. Evil, uncaringly finding joy in other people's misery on my part? Most probably. But oh well.
LOL |
| posted by theycallmecruel @ 2:21 PM |
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| ribbit
Chinaman in Canada, no more.
i still can't come up with a better phrase. |
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